Hey, what's up with you? Wait, let me guess. She broke up with you again? I'm not really surprised. She breaks up with you every week at this point. Look, I'm not arguing with you about whether or not you legit got broken up with, but I've been your roomie long enough. You need to get rid of this girl. MOVE. ON.

You need help with that? Look, I can ensure that you will NEVER want to fuck with her again. All this stripping will get you hard and I bet you'll want to move on already, but I want to really solidify your commitment to moving on. So go on the couch and close your eyes. I'll be right there...

A few minutes later, you feel her climb on top... brace yourself for her pussy around your cock, but... WHOA!

Dude, I already have my whole cock in you! I had the feeling you'd be able to take dick. Is she fucking you in the ass or what? Calm down! Do you see how rock hard your cock is? Don't deny your interest. Maybe this is the best way to move on from her. You'll be craving cock, not pussy!

You like it! Just like I thought. You like it in your asshole. You're so hard. I'm really starting to think now that... you may be a faggot! Yeah!