We've been friends a long time. We've both dated, and we usually hate each others partners. You've never liked anyone I dated, and I never like who you date. That's all good and fine, but this new girl you're with tops the list of worst girlfriends you've had ever.

You seem so happy, but I need to be honest with you. This woman makes me want to scream. She's so irritating. So terrible.

This brings me to my main point - POP - you could do so much better. Way better. POP. I'm talking a lifetime of a better choice in girlfriends. You know what I'm getting at with all this? POP. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but we've always connected and I want you to know what I'm thinking.

Sure, I have some habits that maybe irritate you - POP - but overall, we're a good pair. Of course, I can't do anything for you while you're with someone, but... I just want you to know that you can do better. So much better. POP