You should probably have some idea why we are having this little meeting but I know you are going to be surprised by the key take away. There is a unique program being implemented for low quality performers, like you, and I have been assigned to over see your very special employment probation. Starting now, you will wearing diapers at work. Diapers that I will be changing. Do I look like I'm joking?

You can earn your big boy pants back by showing some improved results or you can lose your job. Unlike you, I take my career very seriously. I will be making certain your diaper probation is humiliating enough to provide plenty of motivation.