I'm sure a loser like you doesn't go on many coffee dates, so it's hard to say no when I invite you on a very special coffee date. It's the kind of date where I degrade and humiliate you for my personal entertainment. You're so pathetic, that's what you crave anyway.

I have this theory that a total loser like you can't say no to me, no matter what I tell you to do. Want to test that theory? Grab a cup of coffee and start stroking. I know your first load of the day is going to be massive, and I have big plans for that big load.

I've always thought coffee was best with cream....

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