Hey there, big brother. I need to talk to you about something. You know I'll be going to college soon, and you've already experienced it at this point. Most of the time I'd never ask for your opinion on anything, because you don't know how to dress or decorate or... do anything very COOL. So asking you for help is a big deal to me. Popularity is so different in college. I'm so popular in high school - like you remember, even though I was younger I was so much more popular. I don't want to be a LOSER in college!

Could you give me some tips? At least some insight into the mind of a college guy. I mean, I've given plenty of blow jobs and fucked loads of dudes, but... I hear the girls in college are sexual FREAKS. How do I compete? Somehow the losers aren't losers because they're freaky in bed? It doesn't add up, but I need to stay relevant. Help me!

PEE FETISH?! What!? That's a thing? I know I bullied you tons, even though I'm younger. But you wouldn't mess with me, would you? Like, you saying there's a pee fetish, is that for real? Wow... dudes want to get pee'd on or... They want me to piss my pants? Whoa. I don't know... I mean, you wouldn't mess with me. You're the sweet sibling. So I'll just do as you say.