What’s classically known as a a day for romance is eclipsed by the unbearable awareness that you are just a pathetic loser. The only lover you’ve ever known is your own hand, you lie down each night without a body to warm you, no morning kisses, no loving embraces, just a sad, lonely existence. Women have always been repulsed by you, you’ve never stood a chance.
It’s obvious to us how painfully awkward you are, how blind and fumbling a lover you would make. It’s too late to make up for lost time now, your peers have decades plus worth of practice. You’d only humiliate yourself further if you were to ever try. This clip is as close as you’ll ever get to intimacy, My gift to you. Happy Valentine’s Day, loser.
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